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musicmushi:

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Your name is AMPHAS ABELIN.

You pretty much do whatever you want and that’s usually very violent as your floor is always STAINED WITH THE RAINBOWS OF YOUR ENEMIES. You like to seek justice a lot and decided before you can remember to be A HIGHLY UNTRAINED TROLL COP with your big dope of a moirail. Your lack of patience and short attention span leaves you VERY ANNOYED WITH LONG WORDS which you feel are overly intricate and elaborate just to make sentences sound unnecessarily fancy…In fact, ‘intricate’ and ‘elaborate’ are overly fancy and you regret using them! You rarely sleep because you have an INTENSE FEAR OF  RAVENOUS CLOWNS THAT MAY HIDE IN YOUR CLOSET and wish to keep constant watch over your respiteblock to make sure none try to sneak up behind you when you least suspect it and EAT YOU. You have removed any closets in your hive to keep from the ravenous clowns finding places to hide but you know that won’t stop them from finding new places so you have your recuperacoon turned upright on the wall as a shield and a way of eliminating any possible attacks from beneath. No matter how many times you warn your moirail to do the same, he’s never believed you and insisted that his closet is too full of useless junk for the clowns to fit, the fearless dumbass! 

You frequently lock yourself out of your own hive so windows are becoming an annoyance as you often find you have to hurl yourself through them to get inside. You have a strange respect for LAGOMORPHS and have the insignia for the LARGE FOOTED FURRY CREATURES in your friend’s blood color because lagomorphs are cool. Your lusus also happens to be a particularly viscous rabbit which is a plus.

Your trollian handle is  awesomelagomorphs (AL) and you tend to speak with IRREVERENT REPLIES THAT HINT AT MENTAL INSTABILITY

You feel this intro has gone on too long so what will you do now?

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Your name is AMPHAS ABELIN.

You pretty much do whatever you want and that’s usually very violent as your floor is always STAINED WITH THE RAINBOWS OF YOUR ENEMIES. You like to seek justice a lot and decided before you can remember to be A HIGHLY UNTRAINED TROLL COP with your big dope of a moirail. Your lack of patience and short attention span leaves you VERY ANNOYED WITH LONG WORDS which you feel are overly intricate and elaborate just to make sentences sound unnecessarily fancy…In fact, ‘intricate’ and ‘elaborate’ are overly fancy and you regret using them! You rarely sleep because you have an INTENSE FEAR OF  RAVENOUS CLOWNS THAT MAY HIDE IN YOUR CLOSET and wish to keep constant watch over your respiteblock to make sure none try to sneak up behind you when you least suspect it and EAT YOU. You have removed any closets in your hive to keep from the ravenous clowns finding places to hide but you know that won’t stop them from finding new places so you have your recuperacoon turned upright on the wall as a shield and a way of eliminating any possible attacks from beneath. No matter how many times you warn your moirail to do the same, he’s never believed you and insisted that his closet is too full of useless junk for the clowns to fit, the fearless dumbass! 

You frequently lock yourself out of your own hive so windows are becoming an annoyance as you often find you have to hurl yourself through them to get inside. You have a strange respect for LAGOMORPHS and have the insignia for the LARGE FOOTED FURRY CREATURES in your friend’s blood color because lagomorphs are cool. Your lusus also happens to be a particularly viscous rabbit which is a plus.

Your trollian handle is  awesomelagomorphs (AL) and you tend to speak with IRREVERENT REPLIES THAT HINT AT MENTAL INSTABILITY

You feel this intro has gone on too long so what will you do now?

Read More

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

sam-shuts-his-cakehole:

itskaleena:

whyiseveryonefalling:

scotchcarousel:

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

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You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

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OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I used to step on mine until they exploded.

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i fucking hated those things

Found the asexual

(Source: manda)

Words to keep inside your pocket:

  • Quiescent - a quiet, soft-spoken soul.
  • Chimerical - merely imaginary; fanciful. 
  • Susurrus - a whispering or rustling sound. 
  • Raconteur - one who excels in story-telling. 
  • Clinquant - glittering; tinsel-like. 
  • Aubade - a song greeting the dawn. 
  • Ephemeral - lasting a very short time. 
  • Sempiternal - everlasting; eternal. 
  • Euphonious - pleasing; sweet in sound. 
  • Billet-doux - a love letter. 
  • Redamancy - act of loving in return.

ratherpsychonaut:

Telltale’s Sam & Max Season 1 a.k.a. Sam & Max Save the World quotes

Sam: Remember our motorcycle trip through the Midwest?
Max: Just you, me, and the authorities from seven states. But those were quieter times.

Max: One way, dead end… street signs are such fitting metaphors for the human condition.
Sam: Remind me to refill your prescriptions.

Sam: That may be the least relaxing sign I’ve ever seen.
Max: What about the one at the barber shop that says “low fatality rate”?
Sam: I stand corrected.

Sam (on the telephone): Hello, is this the president? It is? Really? Well, thanks, that’s all I wanted to know.

Sam: There’s only one explanation for a propeller on the wall…
Max: Yes. This TV station is a giant flying battleship!
Sam: Either that or it’s just a “prop.” Heh, get it?
Max: I vote for the giant flying battleship.

Max: Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming “Die! Why won’t you die!,” and Sam said, “You crack me up, little buddy!”
Myra: The point being…?
Max: I crack Sam up!

Max: I have a dream, America. It starts out where I’m in an all-nude production of “death of a salesman” on ice, but I haven’t studied and can’t remember my lines! Suddenly it begins to rain marshmallows but that’s okay because trees are made of graham crackers and chocolate bars are the official currency. I believe that by working together, we can make that dream a reality.

Max: We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And the chupacabra. Madre de dios, he’ll kill us all!

Sam: How would you describe your tax plan?
Lincoln: Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Host: And that doesn’t really make a bit of sense, so it looks like politics as usual here at the debate.

Sam: You have to admire the pro-lobby lobbyists for their unrepentantly self-serving stance.
Max: I prefer the charming, self-destructive nihilism of the anti-lobby lobbyists.

Max: Hey, Sam, what’s the difference between online banking and online gambling?
Sam: Judging by what I see here, not much.

Sam: Here ya go, Max, have your very own store.
Max: Oh, goody! Now I can use it as a convenient front to make a fortune selling weapons of suspect origin in bulk to third world countries!
Sam: You’re the president, idiot.
Max: Oh, right. I guess I don’t need a front then. You can keep it.

Sam (reading an ad): Diploma Mill College: try our new drive-thru post-doctorate program!

Sam (on the telephone): I saw what you did. Keep the payments coming, and nobody has to find out. Yeah, okay. Love you too, mom.

Sybil: Is pure happiness a lie? Is peace on Earth a hopeless dream? Are unicorns imaginary?
Sam: Mostly, probably, and it depends on how far you live from a facility that processes nuclear waste.

Sam: Having my bliss separated is not what the brochures made it out to be!

Sam: I miss the old days, when our cases were less thinking and more shooting stuff.
Max: Luckily, my short-term memory makes me impervious to nostalgia.

Sam: Random but innocuous comment.
Max: Irreverent reply that hints at mental instability!
Sam: You crack me up, little buddy.

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